so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's Friday. Sex?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
