I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
