Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
