Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize