I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
