just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
