is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
