every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I touched a dick in church today
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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