Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
