He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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