I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
