Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
