Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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