I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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