Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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