I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
