i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
