I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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