I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
