He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
