Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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