All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
