Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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