it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
