found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
high people should be assigned attendants
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's rum buckets o'clock
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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