I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
