I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
