We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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