why didn't you poke me back
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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