do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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