Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
