i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
being pregnant is like rehab
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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