I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
