I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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