i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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