redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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