pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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