I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
