after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
