babies were throwing up all over the place
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize