So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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