So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
