My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
