Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
