The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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