I'm going to jail i love you
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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