is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
