I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize