I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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