Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
