Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
