He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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