Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
