Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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