'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
