do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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