I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
