We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
